This  Fan  Support  Page  is  meant  to  create  awareness  for  the  extended

family members how really horrific and lonely angel  parents  feel at  times.

I  hope  that, it will  serve  well to provide "hands on " information .

Together,with  the  amazing  support  from  our fb Angel Baby

private angel parent community, we  will  be  responding  to your questions.

Please  post  them on  our  Discussions  page.

 

Ask  the  questions  you  are  too  afraid  or  too  scared  to  ask . We  just ask 

you  to  refrain   from  any  rude remarks and comments . Anyone  doing  so,

will  be  banned  from  this  Support  site.                                                     

                                                                            Loving hugs to all precious  ~ angels ~

                                                                            Dana  angel  mums  Tanya & Lynda 

• I wish you would not be afraid to mention my baby.The truth is just because     you ever saw my baby doesn't mean he doesn't deserve your recognition

• I wish that if we did talk about my baby and I cried you didn't think it was because you have hurt me by mentioning my baby. The truth is I need to cry       and talk about my baby with you.

• I wish that you could talk about my baby more than once. The truth is if you do, it reassures me that you haven't forgotten him and that you do care and understand

• I wish you wouldn't think that I don't want to talk about my baby. The truth is I love my baby and need to talk about him.

• I wish you could tell me you are sorry my baby died and that you are thinking of me. The truth is that it tells me you care.

• I wish you wouldn't think what has happened is one big bad memory for me. The truth is the memory of my baby, the love I feel for my baby, the dreams I had and the memories I have created for my baby are all loving memories. Yes there are bad memories too but please understand that it's not all like that.
  
• I wish you wouldn't pretend that my baby never existed. The truth is we both know I had a baby growing inside me.
  
• I wish you wouldn't judge me because I am not acting the way you think I should be. The truth is grief is a very personal thing and we are all different people who deal with things differently

• I wish you wouldn't think if I have a good day I'm "over it" or if I have a bad day I am being unreasonable because you think I should be over it. The truth is there is no "normal" way for me to act.
  
• I wish you wouldn't stay away from me. The truth is losing my baby doesn't mean I'm contagious. By staying away you make me feel isolated, confused and like it is my fault.
  
• I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be "over and done with" in a few weeks, months, or years for that matter. The truth is it may get easier with time but I will never be "over" this

• I wish you wouldn't think that my baby wasnt't really a baby and he was just blood and tissue or a fetus. The truth is my baby had a life. My baby had a soul, heart, body, legs, arms and a face. I have seen my baby's body and face. My baby was real person - and he was alive

• My babies due date, Mothers Day, celebration times, the day my baby was born and the day I lost him are all important and sad days for me. The truth is I wish you could tell me by words or by letter you are thinking of me on these days.

• I wish you understood that losing my baby has changed me. The truth is I am not the same person I was before and will never be that person again. If you keep waiting for me to get back to ""normal" you will stay frustrated. I am a new person with new thoughts, dreams, beliefs, and values. Please try to get to know the real me-maybe you'll still like me
  
• I wish you wouldn't tell me I could have another baby. The truth is I want the baby I lost and no other baby can replace him. Babies aren't interchangeable.
  
• I wish you wouldn't feel awkward or uncomfortable talking about my baby or being near me. When you do, I can see it. The truth is it's not fair to make me feel uncomfortable just because you are

• I wish you wouldn't think that you'll keep away because all my friends and family will be there for me. The truth is, everyone thinks the same thing and I am often left with no one.
  
• I wish you would understand that being around pregnant women is uncomfortable for me. The truth is I feel jealous.
  
• I wish you wouldn't say that it's natures way of telling me something was wrong with my baby. The truth is my baby was perfect no matter what you think nature  is saying

• I wish you would understand what you are really saying when you say "next time things will be okay". The truth is how do you know? What will you say if it happens to me again?                        
  

• Tell  her  to 'get over it' - These  are  the  cruelest  words  anyone  could  ever  say,   2 weeks,  2 months, 2 years,  2 decades - a mother  will  NEVER  get  over  losing her child ! But, in time and with lots of support  she will learn to live with it better.
• Say  ' at  least  you  can  have more / you  already  have  children '  -    This  makes absolutely  no  difference  to  the  child  we  have  lost.  You  wouldn't  expect  not to grieve  a  sister  cos  you  have  2  or 3  more, or  a  friend  because  you  have another. No  parent  should  ever  have  to  lose  a child,  period !
• Say    ' your  child  didn't  look   right '  -   if  you  are  lucky  enough  to  have   seen pictures  of  an  angel - it's  because  you  were considered  special enough to do so, an angel mummy doesn't  share  lightly.  Since beauty shines from within who are you  to judge?
• Wait  for  an  invite - The worst  thing  people can  do is  stay  away. The  last thing an  angel  mother  will ever do  is  ask  for  help, knock  the door  and ask  if  she'd  like  some  company . She  will be able  to  tell  you  if  she  wants  to  be alone, but staying  away  makes  he  r thi nk yo u do  n't care.
• Feel  awkward  when  she  ' talks  about  the d ead baby again'. Grief is  individual, for me talking  about  my  angel  keeps  her  alive  as  it  does  for  many  angel mummies, but  on  the  other  hand  stil l respect a mummy  who  can't  yet  bring herself  to  talk .
• Say : I knew a  woman  who   went  through  it,  then  compare  -  It doesn't matter, if  that  woman  had  10  more  kids  and  is  ok, that  doesn't   mean  we  will be!!!!!

• Say 'I don't understand what you are  going   through, but I am here for you' and mean it. Just saying it is forming empty words, if you've told her she can call you morining noon or night leave your phone on, make time!
• Ask if the  mummy  has  anything  she'd like  to share  with  you, photo's, cards, a memory box maybe. It tells the mummy that her child was thought of and loved.
• Offer to  help,   whether  that  be making  tea,  giving  her a  facial (maybe even  a cuddle) or looking   after the other  kids  so  she can  have a  few minutes to grieve privately or do something to  make her  feel ok for  the  briefest of  moments.
• Cry if you need to, a mummy appreciates all who help, but it's those that cry with her that stay close to her heart.
• Listen, maybe the most important thing of all. It doesn't matter if she's talked it over a thousand  times, she  will do so a thousand more, listening  could just save that angel mummy's life one day
• Make time to visit  her child's  resting  place, this  smallest of  gestures  means so much, being too busy just  doesn't cut it,  surely  you can  spare 15  minutes out of your day once in a while?For anyone reading, I don't mean to sound harsh, but so many good friendships fall apart after loss,that I felt I needed to get this down for all the angel mummies out there